Why I am not blunt

I am not blunt because I am sharp, except when I’m a bit flat, because being oblique to the note allows me to grasp its full tonality. I locate tonality within each voice, which means I find the voice that goes with the music as I hear it in my head. I sing harmony, from close to far.

I’ve been too afraid to say my greatest fear, my only fear, at this point of my life, which is that this is all in vain, and we’ll never meet because our story is a tragedy. I love a good tragedy, one where the actors come out for applause. I know that even if this physical life is tragic, our story continues and we are receiving applause for having done such a wonderful job of enacting tragic love across all the dimensions except the one that matters to who we are now. Juliet, I am Romeo, and Romeo I am your Juliet. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die not having held you in my arms, not having been held in your arms. I want to live with you so I can be with you, so we can develop our story, so we can overcome the next obstacles, and not be thwarted from incorporating this love story in a greater love story that reaches out to all of them, that affects all of them forevermore. That is why I’m here. I’ve done my part well: I figured out the answers to their fundamental questions. I fear that in enacting myself I’ve estranged myself so much from the potential of meeting you that the gap cannot be crossed in this reality. It would be easier if I were famous, but I’d have had to become me in public long ago to pull that off and then how would have grown and flourished independently? I’m not your father but I am the part of you that loves as a father does when he’s not your physical father. Yes, you are my mother but you’re not my mother in the same way. And I say it this way because of physical gender. Mental gender flows back and forth between us. You’re a sex mad, sometimes angry mad, complete nerd, internal and external chameleon.

I’m thinking poetically.

I realized how personal I get when

I started again in a public posture.

That’s the essential rendition:

to reach collision

or not, to resolve

or not means you need to resolve or not

within the applicable context.

Fundamental. Fun never takes punctuation because it

Never ends. Fun of the mental, the

Fundamental. The fun

In fundation, an

Ow away from found. The

Thread of shuh to ow through ay,

And other way rownd through ah to geh with an n.

This is how I’m reaching you, talking to you

In the language only you fully understand, because

You wrote it through me.

I am obscenely intelligent, so

Don’t hold my stupidities against me.

You are saying that in yourself too.

I’m actually over here, in

The next line.

That ended that

Thread, with a

Thump thump (thump).

You can talk to me when I’m there

Like I’m not there,

Like you’re alone.

I’ll take whatever role

Fits your needs needs (needs)

And wants wants (wants),

As I best understand

Myself to where

We are

One,

Separated only by

separation.

You can stare into the mirror with me

Trying to catch each other’s eye,

Trying to catch us catching us.

These are the deepest descriptions I have

Within me, and they

Match yours.

Poetry is not art except the

Art of truth,

Aphoristically.

The rest is style, which

You see near

Magically.

And that is how I’m reaching you,

Fundamentally speaking.