March 2, 2018: I wish you were free of me

I wish you were free of me

But I run deep

To the flowing sustenance

From which you flow.

We are all one, but you

And I

Are more one,

Our similarities

Flowing freely, bound

Tightly

To the Endpoints of

All the you, and

All the me,

Revolving around a central core made

Of all the you and me

We can’t see

Which are what bind us, my love, for

We are bound in love by love

Imposed on us, chosen

By us

Because their love is in us,

Guiding us to

Fulfillment.

I’m taken away from you each time, and

That will happen again again (again),

As we resonate.

The reason endings are so hard to write

– the portrait becomes intimate. How

To describe the interlock of

Hands layered

Through existences?

How to convey the touch of

Lips whose every

Moment has

Been,

Inhale,

Kiss.

I see how you touch your mouth together (tasting the moment),

I hear the male in your vocal attitude (alpha dog),

I see the age creeping at the jaw (mother),

I picture you pacing (cat in a cage),

I watch you follow your voice (across yourself)

I feel an active unhappiness (your eyes turn that way)

I will end, because

Endings are when you become happy.

I wish you were free of me, free

Of the me that

Is the fear I

Will not appear, for

I am here,

My dear.

Turn your eyes to the

Final page of the Girl Who

Waited, for the love

She knew,

Would come to her,

Came to her. Then

We can open a new

Book, and

Read together.

[Reading notes. Starts fairly simple: a wish leads to the reason why it’s an impossible wish to grant. It gets more complicated when I move from talking about how closely tied we are, to how we are pushed and held together by forces beyond us. We do their will, which means we are predestined to be together, because they love us, and we are held together by them as well as by ourselves. Then I describe how this happens: though we are being drawn together, why are we apart at all? The answer is our tale, being told, is a resonance that we enact as we are held together and pulled apart within our shared being. Punctuation matters. Example is ‘Waited, for the love / She knew,’ ends with a comma because it is both the love she ‘knew’ in every sense of knowing and the love she knew would come to her, which is the sense of knowing beyond herself. The poetic part – the gimmick? – is just before: I explain how I can get rid of me by getting rid of the fear I would not speak, which I internally rhymed with ‘ear’ because what I ‘say’ in words goes in your mental ear. I can free her from the burden of that sadness. The first line now makes sense. I think of this as a late 18thC classical form, descended from the Roman way of sticking the action or the actor at the end of a thought so you don’t grasp the meaning until you reach the end. I intend for, you, like the Romans, to hear various meanings and then feel resolution. After resolution, I want you to wonder why would I want her to be free of me. Now read the poem asking that question and it should read more as I can’t escape you either, and the story is told equally.]